Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
