i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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