I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
