i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
