Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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