The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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