I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
