my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
