i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize