im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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