it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
