omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
