I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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