well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
