What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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