If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
