There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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