I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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