Rock
Scissors
Fuck
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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