You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
