Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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