Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
