its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
