It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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