this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
