I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
