I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I need water and some morals
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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