She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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