There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize