24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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