I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
