He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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