ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
