If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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