If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize