I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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