Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
