My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
