after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
