So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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