Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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