I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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