my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize