I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
