okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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