I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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