we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize