you win again, gameday.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
