I wish I could punch you in the face.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
