Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
