Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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