My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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