I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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