two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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