quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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